I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
