Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
