he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
๐๐๐ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncรฉ was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Iโm making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize