Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
