he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
we're making bets on your personal life
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
