Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
