At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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