At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
