I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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