There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
