Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Randomize