I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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