So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
