I feel like abortions should bother me more
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize