she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
