lets start a swedish sibling band together
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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