hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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