I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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