he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Randomize
