Can i not drive my cunt home
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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