we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
