Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
