Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
