I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
