I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
