Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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