how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
