Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
