Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
