gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
