Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
