these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Randomize
