My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
