I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize