...so i touched it.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
