yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm passing your future prison.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
