Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
