my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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