It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
