The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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