you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Randomize
