but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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