I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Couch. On fire.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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