Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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