I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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