I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
