WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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