Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
