It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
