i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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