Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
