Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
