i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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