Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
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