I want to walk on stilts...naked
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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