You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
