My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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