Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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