apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
