Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize