I can tuck mytits in my pants
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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