i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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