her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
