i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I'm having to shit out rocks
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