You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
