Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
