dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Randomize
