just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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