So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
