Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
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