covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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