i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
They have beer where we have blood.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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